butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
