That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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