At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
