a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
