he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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