Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
