thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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