Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize