You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
