Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
