we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize