I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
