why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
