i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
