The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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