JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
