she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
