So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
