The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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