Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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