Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
