I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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