Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize