She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
