i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
my liver is dry heaving
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
