Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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