I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
