Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
