woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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