I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
