every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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