She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
