Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
