so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
