Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
How naked do you want me to be?
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