didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
