you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize