feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
