I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
