Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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