Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
