apparently the secret to your success is patron
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
