just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize