he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
