Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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