it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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