What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
