im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
