It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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