Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
