youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize