no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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