marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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