It's like God shit irony all over that family
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
