so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
