Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize