3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
