Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
