Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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