i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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