Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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