so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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