Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
