I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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