I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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