It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
