Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
