someone threw a dead crab at me
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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