We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
