he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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