so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
