I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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