once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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