Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
